Tiger Woods: Who Cares?

Tiger Woods’ performance on National TV “apologizing” for his errant behavior off tee was pathetic, self-serving, morally indulgent and a sad failure to mirror the mastery of African-American oratory. With his wealth and fame, you would think he could at least have gotten a coaching session from Barack Obama. It’s hard to watch the psychological meltdown of a great American athlete who should be using his golfing skills to restore his right to the living rooms of human beings across the nation and around the world. I wish Tiger Woods would leave his senseless guilt purging to a confession booth and get back to playing the game that made us care about him in the first place.

The absence of his wife at his side made the entire performance insincere from the start. “Fake” as Steven A. Smith put it. A man confessing his sins before a sinful public is now prime-time TV? Entertainment? Get real Tiger! Now what do we expect? A complete revision of his moral worth so that we can watch him play golf without fearing a strike of lightening that could endanger the lives of his followers and playing partners? Just because Barack Obama talked himself into being elected president doesn’t mean Tiger Woods is going to talk himself into being the moral angel we all thought he was, who just happens to have a good golf game.

What a tragic waste of quality TV time. What a sad display of self-righteous theater bent on renewing an image forever tarnished by acts of human nature that offend many who still believe in the sanctity of marriage but again, has nothing to do with whether or not he can win a Golf Major. Tiger Woods needs to just grow up and get over what he did and did with intention and great pleasure. He fooled around. He didn’t kill anyone. He certainly didn’t offend MY moral sensitivities, nor should I be a party to what should be a personal interaction within his family and whatever spiritual center he professes to believe in. Tiger Woods asks for all to leave his family alone and this unsolicited exposure to his inner being is the way to go about it?

I am left to believe the only thing Tiger Woods’ is interested in is his bank account. This tearless tirade of pathos was intended only to rescue an image of purity that has made him billions of dollars. He’s already lost significant sponsorship in a commercial world that markets anything of value to anyone who can pay yet has the audacity to demand moral perfection of the Tiger Woods’ Michael Jacksons and Kobe Bryants that help advertise their products. Afraid he may sink into the economic quagmire of garden variety millionaire-hood, Tiger is on a ridiculously ill-advised mission to save his billions and remain the man his trophy wife married. Perhaps he’s making sure her legal savvy won’t suddenly improve in the coming days and months to where she could take a more mercenary view of his multiple counts of adultery.

Instead of concentrating on a golf hole a few inches in depth, Tiger Woods is opening a hole large enough to build a bomb shelter in. Just like Pinocchio’s nose, the hole gets bigger the more he stands before the cameras of global TV and preaches his absolution. Where are his high-paid lawyers right now? Where is the chorus of “SHUT UP, TIGER??”. Where are his golf clubs? Did Elin break every single one of them trying to knock some sense into his head? I should hope I won’t need therapy to erase this emasculated image of self – pity from my head as I wait endlessly for Tiger Woods to return to the TEE. That is the only platform upon which world opinion is going to take shape; the only venue upon which the global corporate world is going to make endorsement contract decisions.

Hopefully, before the end of the world in 2012, the re-runs of Tiger’s regretful performance will cease. Perhaps eventually we can get back to the real world of professional athletics where flawed personal lives are eclipsed by the skills of the game. What truly matters in a world that eye-winks moralism is the intrigue of larger-than-life athletic heroes who receive their just reward in money, not absolution of sin. Let’s withhold any further judgment of Tiger’s marital offenses and pray for the day he returns to the TEE. A true performance by a great golfer is one that we shouldn’t want to change the channel on. It’s too bad the Supreme Court can’t put a gag order on any TV station to prevent re-airing this pitiful episode of poor judgment. Instead it’s going to play and play and play until those still watching will wonder who is Tiger Woods and why does anyone care?

Robert Hamilton 2-20-2010